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New Words
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a
new definition. Here are this year’s winners:
| 1. | bozone, n.
the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating;
unfortunately, it shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. |
| 2. | foreploy, n.
any misrepresentation about oneself for the purpose of getting laid. |
| 3. | cashtration, n.
any act which renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period. |
| 4. | giraffiti, n.
vandalism spray-painted very, very high. |
| 5. | sarchasm, n.
the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. |
| 6. | inoculatte, v.
to take coffee intravenously when running late. |
| 7. | hipatitis, n.
terminal coolness. |
| 8. | osteopornosis, n.
a degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) |
| 9. | karmageddon, n.
it’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then, like,
the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer. |
| 10. | decaflon, n.
the grueling event of getting through the day without coffee. |
| 11. | glibido, n.
all talk and no action. |
| 12. | reintarnation, n.
coming back to life as a hillbilly. |
| 13. | intaxication, n.
euphoria from receiving a tax refund, which quickly vanishes upon realizing that the
funds are the taxpayer’s own money. |
| 14. | dopeler effect, n.
the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when spoken in rapid succession. |
| 15. | arachnoleptic fit, n.
the frantic dance performed by one who has just accidentally walked through a spider
web. |
| 16. | Beelzebug, n.
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into the bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out. |
| 17. | caterpallor, n.
the complexion of someone eating a piece of fruit, after finding half a grub
inside it. |
And first place went to:
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| 18. | ignoranus, n.
a person who is both stupid and an asshole. |
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